Winning or Losing?

It’s fun to compete with others - to test your strength and abilities against others who are able to match your strength and abilities - to see who the better or best is.       

Competing and winning are very interesting concepts and sometimes we are apt to think that they are the same. Winning a game or winning the championship of your league is a good goal, but there are some necessary elements or the fun of winning isn’t there. What must be there is the element of equality or near equality of ability of the combatants.

The Joy is in competing fairly with someone else. It isn’t much fun winning if there’s no possibility of losing and there isn’t much fun losing if there is no possibility of winning. 

Let’s consider a league in which one team is allowed to pick all the star players and goes on to beat every other team in games that are all shortened by a mercy rule. What is the joy of competing in this case? I would venture to say that the fun of the game would be reduced for everyone including the winners. In major league sports, we often hear about breaking up the team that is dominating the league. They even have policies to avoid building a dynasty. The team with the worst record this year in the National Football League will have the first pick in the player draft next spring.

As adults, we make sure that we have a chance of winning when we play our games. At the first tee on the golf course, we compare handicaps and decide which golfer will give strokes to the others. At the bowling establishment, we say, “They have to spot us 8 pins per game.” In a chess match, the superior player will take one of his pieces off the board to make the game more interesting.

If we don’t use one of these handicap systems, we adults will make sure that the person we are opposing is of comparable ability. Here are two rules of competition as it relates to fun and improvement.

1. If you play consistently with someone who is much better than you, you will improve for a while, but eventually you will get discouraged, stop trying, and choose not to compete any longer. You get tired of losing.

2. If you play consistently with someone who is much worse than you, you will enjoy your victories for a while, but eventually you will get bored with it and choose not to compete any longer. You get tired of winning. You may also get tired of the growing frustration of your opponent.

         In order to have a good competitive situation, there must be the possibility of your losing. Without the risk of losing, winning does not have much meaning. If you want to improve, make sure you are occasionally playing people who are better than you at the time – and use that as a learning experience.