We Take Them out for Ice Cream

While being interviewed for a position at a new college, I let it slip that I had coached junior high school basketball and softball. One member of the interview team was a long time Babe Ruth Little League coach and he needed a new assistant coach, so . . . Actually, I was happy to take on that position and I spent several good years there. 

One of the best aspects of this position was our relationship with the parents of our players. What we had was a triangular, interpersonal relationship among the three elements; parents, coaches, and kids. We created the triangular  logo shown above to describe this relationship. 

Picture the end of a game; the parents coming down to the playing field sidelines and intermingling with their kids and us coaches. This had become a tradition for these participants. What do we do while we are there together?

What do we do when the team wins?  We take the kids out for ice cream.

What do we do when the team loses?  We take the kids out for ice cream.

Elements other than winning and losing had entered into the picture. The relationship among the participants in this threesome had assumed a kind of partnership – “We are in this because of our caring for our kids” could be and was expressed by Coaches and Parents. Doing this over a period of time, this could be termed a ‘Tradition.’ “This is what we do.” and “There is more to this game than Winning!”

We’ve established a norm of behavior around the ice cream.

What is it that is more than winning and losing????

That is the good side of the relationship and the events while the positive coaches and the co-operating parents are in charge and the players work and behave well.         

This leads to a rather strange concept at the possibility of negative behavior by the players or the change to a new, less patient and caring Coach, who says, “Enough of this! You played a lousy game and acted badly – no ice cream today!” At the age of my Babe Ruth team players, this would be seen as  - “We don’t get the ice cream - We are being punished.” The possible perception:

“The withholding of an expected reward can be regarded as punishment.”