The Three Dangerous Processes to Avoid

There are three processes that we use to describe our behavior to ourselves. Our brain listens to us and identifies us by what we say about ourselves.

I. The first process is Self -Talk – Self-talk consists of messages that we give ourselves that describe who we are, what we do, and how we do it. Here are a few examples of Negative Self-Talk:

I’m just a teacher (or whatever).

I just can’t catch on to how fractions work.

I've always been a lousy putter.

II. The second process is agreeing with others when they describe who you are and what you do. This is especially strong if it is spoken by an adult who plays a significant role in one’s life. If you allow other people to set limitations for you, these limitations will become yours.

My coach says I’m too clumsy so I’ll never make the team.

My teacher told me that I can’t write poetry so I’ll have to do something else.

Our family has never been lucky – my Dad says lucky people get all the breaks,

III. The third process has to do with “wisdom” sayings that have been repeated so many times that we think they are true:

Big boys don’t cry – they don’t show their emotions.

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Girls aren’t supposed to compete – it’s not ladylike.

We are always learning. Our ability to learn and our ability to keep learning is our responsibility.