The Hurried Child

The child is constantly confronted with the nagging question: “What are you going to be?” Courageous would be the youngster who could look the adult squarely in the face and say, “I'm not going to be anything; I already am.” We adults would be shocked by such an insolent remark, for we have forgotten, if indeed we ever knew, that a child is an active, participating and contributing member of society from birth. Childhood isn't a time when he is molded into a human who will then live life; he is a human who is living life. No child will miss the zest and joy of living unless these are denied him by adults who convinced themselves that childhood is a period of preparation.

David Elkind, The Hurried Child

Once in a while, I’m called by a high school principal or athletic director to give a speech. I like talking to these young people. They have such eagerness and hopes for the future. They have already heard enough about the cold, cruel world awaiting them in having to work for a living, earning a college degree, becoming responsible citizens, entering the adult world, etc. In other words, up to this point they have been deficient in what they have been doing relative to what they will now be required to do.

So, I begin with this thought, “You are graduating from high school today and you will be continuing this life that you are already living. You are, and always have been, a growing person. You have spent your last four years living and growing in this place. Now you will be leaving here to continue your growth in who you are and what you do at a different place; a place with different learning and growing opportunities.”

This is also a message to the students’ parents - Your child is growing up and ready to make a transition - a change in her life - a change in your relationship with her. She is going to college - He is starting a new job - She is moving out of your house - He is giving you an in-law - She is going to be a pitcher on a softball team in the Big 12 Conference .

The world may be taking a quantum leap so work with your child (who is no longer a child).