Terry the Terror - c

Terry the Terror -- he has the name. but is that what he really is? He stands up firmly for what he thinks is right. What we coaches sometimes call backtalk is Terry's way of maintaining his self-image and finding his place in the outfit. As a result, his relationship with you is not what you would call friendly; you just seem to lock horns at the drop of a hat. Is that his fault? What are his options? And of course, what are your options and strategies?

How do you relate to him?

You can't help but love this kid's backbone, but if you run your team with an iron fist, you and he are going to have problems sooner or later.

A Situation:

It's batting practice time. Terry has been helping Coach Ames work with Ollie, the new player. You have just said, “No more batting after this guy. Get ready for infield practice” when Terry comes in to take some swings.

You have this firm rule that once you make an announcement, that's it. So you are about to begin infield practice and Terry says, “Coach, I didn't get my bats.” You state, “It's too late, you should have been here on time.” Terry replies, “But Coach Ames asked me to help him. I don't think it's fair for me to lose my bats if I'm helping a coach.”

Your feelings:

“Can't he be like the other guys who take my orders without question?”

(Wow! Where did that thought come from? That’s a left-behind thought I accepted when I played for Coach Neilson - my high school basketball coach. It was his version of “My way or the highway.” In the past, that was also my default position - my relationship with my players - with my assistant coaches. I was their boss - I had a superior position relative to their inferior position. I have learned and now use a better, more honest relationship with the people I work with.)

What you can think and do instead:

Rules are not meant to keep you from being fair. Check with Coach Ames; “Was Terry helping you? He was? O. K. Hold it, guys, Terry was helping Coach Ames and we don't want him to lose his turn at bat. Just stay in your positions.”

Terry is a rock in the shoe for some coaches and a joy to have around for others. Work with him. You can be straight with him and you know he'll be straight with you. Terry needs to be heard; listen to him. Terry has a lot of self respect; honor that.

Bottom line:

There will be times when Terry is wrong. At least you're sure it's him who is wrong. After you have heard him out, a firm statement on your part, “Terry, I've listened to you and I still think you are wrong. You think you're right. We’ll have to agree to disagree. We'll have to let it go at that.”

Terry's issue: Fairness