Praise and Encouragement

Often, I hear coaches saying, “You have to praise your kids” or “We don’t praise our kids enough.” It’s a great idea when done right and can be a trap for both coach and player if done wrong.

We like to acknowledge kids for their efforts, but sometimes we send a wrong or inadequate message. Shawna has just done a great (for her) job of laying down sacrifice bunts in practice, so you say, “Great, that’s the way to do it.”

That’s praise. One message that Shawna might get is that she has mastered bunting and has placed a mark at that level for her to perform and on the level that you will accept and expect in the future. She doesn’t have to get any better. That’s not what you meant for her to hear. So, occasionally we must take one more step, “Great, that was a big improvement. Now, next time you will want to hold off getting into the bunting stance a while longer so that you don’t tip off the 3rd baseman too soon.”

That’s Encouragement. Now you have covered all the bases – you have told Shawna that she did something well; you have told her how to improve on this skill; and you have told her that you expect her to attain a higher level of performance.

I observe and evaluate my student coaches four times a season. At visits #1, #2, and #3, I will most often say, “You did a good job today. Next time I observe you, you’ll be doing ________ and ________ a lot better.” This is a praise message, an encouragement message, and a positive expectancy message. It also means that I will not accept their present level of performance in future observations. My hope is that this becomes a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.

Praise has to do with your feelings about what is happening now. Encouragement has to do with how you would like it to be in the future.

Note: Don’t get this mixed up with the Parental Messages, “You never do things right!” “How many times have I told you to __________.” This Parent is not satisfied with his child’s performances and he will never be satisfied.