Label with Care

Several years ago, I was asked to speak to a group of coaches on the topic “Grouping and Self-Image.” This is a topic I have strong feelings about because I believe that any label regardless of intent, has an effect on the person bearing it. I wrote and delivered a talk entitled, “Does the Label on the Can Affect the Contents of the Can?” If you take the label off a can of corn and replace it with a label from a can of tomatoes, the can still contains corn. If you put a new label on a child; for example, “gifted,” “slow,” “high group,” “lazy”; do you affect the quality of the child?

All of us have had to deal with labels that others put on us. Sometimes we simply accept the label and act out the role. “They gave us the name, so we’ll play the game.” Sometimes we revolt and act out a role completely different or exactly opposite of that which is expected.

I recall discussing this in one of my college classes and an independent type young lady said, “My boss wanted me to do “X” and I did “Y”, the exact opposite.” I asked her, “What did you want to do, “X” or “Y”? She replied, “I wanted to do “X”, but I wouldn’t give him the control position.” And so I asked, “So, who was in control of your actions?” “Eureka”, she cried. (Not really) She did see that she had not allowed herself to be controlled, but, at the same time, she also did not take control of her actions.

How about children? I see many children reacting negatively to unfair labels. And I see many children accepting the labels being printed on their self-images. I’m troubled at the times when I’m being shown around a field by a coach and he or she says, “This is my low group; my non-players.” The message is that they will remain “low” and be “non-players.” “After all, Coach, that very important person, says that’s who I am.”

The Coach told Lisa’s dad that she was too slow to be a goalkeeper. Dad relayed that “fact” to Lisa. Lisa gave up her dream to be the goalkeeper and kind of gave up on her thinking of being a hockey player.