'Game Changer' | Darla the Gifted

(Remember that you noticed that Darla is not out on the field. She used to be called Darla the Discouraged. Well, her mother called and said Darla wouldn’t be on the team any more. So, you called Mom − this is a success story.)

This is the case of Darla the Gifted. This really was a sad situation and your heart went out to her. She is a gifted person, athletically and musically. She wanted to be back home practicing her piano for an upcoming recital but her mom who is a very old friend and a classmate of yours wanted her to play softball. And, of course, your team and you as the coach were chosen to take part in this arrangement. Believe it or Not: Some kids have a life outside of Softball.

Darla is a good player. She was doing what she could to please Mom or rather, to not antagonize her, but she certainly was not putting out that proverbial 150% − more like 50%. She’s a good kid, frustrated and sad but not nasty or negative. But, she was causing you a big problem. When the music runs through her head, she looks as if she’s loafing. And what about the many times she ‘forgot’ her shoes at practice? (That’s called Avoidance)

What your feelings were:

“I wish her Mom would work on her own goals and let Darla work on hers. I have hinted several times that Darla ought to be at the piano instead of on the field, but she didn’t or couldn’t hear me.”

What you wanted to do and then did:

You told Darla to go home to her music. You used all the good sense and wisdom that you have always used...then you got that call from Mom. Some parents simply are

not aware of what is happening. They need your wisdom and guidance.

What happened?

Mom finally got the message − Darla’s music teacher helped, too. Darla is now at home practicing for her piano recital and everyone is getting along a lot better.

What about Mom?

She called later and said, “I sure was asleep at the switch on this one − I was dealing with my goals and feelings instead of being in touch with Darla’s. I have always wanted Darla to be the best that she can be and if music is her choice then I’m going to support her totally. I’m still a little disappointed that she went her way instead of my way but that’s my problem and I’ll take responsibility for that.”

Darla’s Status: Low interest in softball − High interest in music.