Fairness

“I always treat my players fairly.” Really? But what do you mean by ‘fairly?’ There are two distinct and separate belief systems on fairness and never the twain shall meet - let’s listen to an advocate of each of these belief system and parent reactions:

Coach Abbot

Fairness means treating everyone exactly the same. Rules are rules and they're the same for every player. If the rule says that everybody has to be to practice on time, then there is no excuse for anyone to be late. If you loosen up, some characters are going to take advantage of you. They are always figuring out ways to work the system to their advantage. It's a lot cleaner and neater when the kids know the rules and know that they have to stick to them.

We coaches don't have to make those nit picking decisions that can get us into trouble. Those kids are always ready to complain that we're not fair and that we play 'favorites' and have 'pets' on this team no matter what we do - so we do what we have to do!

Parent Allan

I agree with Coach Abbot. I treat all of my kids (all three of them) exactly the same. No pets, no favorites in my family. We parents set the rules and the kids all have to live up to them. For example, all of our kids spend one hour each night on homework. It doesn’t matter that Addie can get hers done in less time - she still spends the hour on her homework just as our other kids do.

Coach Baird

Fairness means treating everyone differently according to their differences and the circumstances. Kids know that if I treat them as individuals; they don't say, “But, you let George come in late on Fridays because of his dental appointment.” They know that if they have a legitimate reason for missing practice, I won't keep them from playing in the games.

Just last week, Karen's mother got really sick and she had to take care of her baby sister until her dad got home from work. How could I justify benching her for the next game? That's a family priority. The kids know that we do a lot of things on trust and they won't take advantage of my way of dealing with them.

Parent Bret

I agree with Coach Baird. We also have rules in our family, but each of our kids is different from the others. They have different abilities, interests, and needs and we respect these and make allowances for them. Betty is the only one of our four kids who loves music and has talent in that area. Why should all of our kids take music lessons - or even worse why should none of our kids take music lessons?

Note: Coach Abbot uses the term ‘excuse’ and Coach Baird uses ‘reason.’ I prefer Coach Baird’s ideas and since I do, I have to be in close touch with each of my players and their parents so that we have an honest relationship with no scamming. I also believe that you have to build trust into the system and ironclad rules and enforcement add distrust and suspicion into the system. The Wolf and the Pack won't work with those elements in place.