Back to Our Players - Part 3

A weekly commentary presenting  the basic philosophical thought of Alfred Adler,  Haim Ginott, Carl Rogers or a related scholar. This week we will recall the author of Children the Challenge;  Rudolph Dreikurs.

The third of Dreikurs’ Goals of Misbehavior is Display of Inadequacy. Many years ago I included in my writings the case of Harry the Hopeless.                 

Dreikurs believed in prevention, and his main focus was on constructive behavior rather than coercive discipline - no writing 100 times on the blackboard “I will not throw spitballs in the classroom” or corporal punishment using the Board of Education, or after-school sessions. I will be adding more of his advice within my section entitled  “What you can do about it.”  

Harry the Hopeless

Next we have Harry the Hopeless.  He has always wanted to be a ball player, but he just doesn't have the physical qualities necessary to make the team. He used to be the first player to show up at practice, but now he has lost most of his eagerness -- he has figured out that he's not going to be in the starting lineup; may not get to play. He knows that he will get in the game only if the Falcons are way ahead or if the league substitution rule forces you to use him. Even at those times, he is going to play out in right field and will bat only once (and he had better not strike out or make an error). What do we do with Harry?

Your feelings:

“I like the kid, but he's like an anchor tied around our necks. I know I’ll have to get him into the game some time and he'll probably lose the game for us.” These thoughts are echoed by the rest of the team -- you can tell by the groans as the substitutions are made; 

What you would like to do:

Forget that he's on the team. Or ignore him or make it tough on him so that he will 'cut' himself from the team). That's not you.

What you can do about it:

You can have a democratic coaching style which has Harry gain a sense of belonging to the team a (genuine goal). Harry will have a social interest - a condition in which he will be able to join in the activities of the team - such as ice cream after the games.

Harry will be treated as a total member of the team during practices so that 1. he knows that he is a team member, and 2. that you may learn more about him - his abilities and his behavior. You may just discover a skill or ability that would benefit the team.

Hang in there with him - who knows what tomorrow will bring. Harry may not become another Harvey Sturkel*, but he could become a good Harry. He could be a player next year; a fan in ten years; your sponsor in 15 years; and, yes, a parent of one of your players in 20 years. You also may involve him in the team as bat-boy or manager or coach’s go-for. Get creative and get him involved with his membership on the team, for example having him guard, with your advising, one the regulars during a practice session.

Give him a reading assignment - read about George Mikan who was voted the best basketball player in the first half of the 20th century.

Harry's Status: Defeated – Recognition/Needs Help

* You can find his plaque and exploits in the Softball Hall of Fame in Oklahoma City.