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A weekly commentary presenting  the basic philosophical thought of Alfred Adler, Rudolph Dreikurs, or a related scholar.

Adler’s Individual Psychology

People are social beings with one fundamental drive: to belong and feel significant within their community. The development of the individual depends on the development of a deep sense of cooperation and connection with others - a social involvement and responsibility.

The Issue

It's the league's winter orientation meeting and Jake Harris, coach of the Jaguars, comes over to you and says. “Congratulations, you got some good new players. The only problem that I can see you having is with Lester Seaton. He's a real hard-headed kid.” Barb Armstrong, coach of the Golden Eagles, pipes up, “Yeah. Good luck! I had a run-in with him last year.”

A tendency we have is to say, “Well, he won't get away with it while I'm coach!” and we have fallen into the trap of pre-judging one of our players. Instead, you may want to say, “O.K., people have had trouble with Lester in the past and we will work really hard to make this a great, profitable team experience for him.” Your co-coach says, “Yeah, they probably said ‘My way or the highway' to him.”

Possible Actions

Both of these are Self-Fulfilling Prophecies. We tend to see and get what we expect to see and to get. If you see Lester as a threat, he most certainly will be one because you will give him all the signals he needs to react negatively to you. An early request he may make, e.g. “Coach, I think I should be batting clean-up.” can be misread as him telling you that he’s going to bat where he wants to.” 

Coaching Interaction:

Lester:  Coach, I think I should be batting clean-up.

Coach:  That would be OK but with your speed and hitting I would like you to bat in    the first inning - second or third.

Lester:   I’d like third cause there should be runners on.

Coach:   We’ll try you there and see how it works.

On the other hand, if you see Lester as a potential asset to the team, he will perceive all of the positive signs and may come along as a real team member. (And, just maybe, Lester has matured a bit since last year.)

There’s also that great reply to a player's complaint:  “Why do I have to learn how to bunt?" “Because you want to become a better player, don’t you?”